“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents” – Carl Jung
I think in just about every one of us there exists a constant internal conflict of some sort. A conflict between the lives we live and the life we have yet to live. The unlived life.
In this regard we exist on two distinct planes. The one in the material world, this is where our real lives play out in reality. There is a certain level of buy-in or conformity to live on this plane. For most of us there is a part of ourselves we must sacrifice to not only survive but to thrive on this plane.
Whether it’s a sacrifice made in pursuit of financial security by working a job you hate or a way to alleviate societal pressures by cultivating an image of success that those around you deem acceptable.
This is what is required to live on the material plane. Or so we think.
However, in pursuit of this we are constantly reminded of the unlived life we have turned away from in order to maintain the status quo. We often go to great lengths to ignore this unlived life. That authentic existence where we follow our true calling, where we honour our deepest instincts, and where we live with integrity rather than compromise.
However, the unlived life is not simply a daydream. It is not a fantasy which we conceive as a reprieve from our everyday struggle. It is not a life of constant bliss but rather the life we would live if we were not afraid.
The unlived life to which I refer may very well be the path of most resistance in fact. It is because of this difficulty that we pursue the path of our material lives. The practical life if you will. We shut off the desires we have for the artistic life and trade it in for Microsoft Teams.
“If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be, if you live what some might call the dynamic life but what I will call the artistic life, if each day you are unsure of who you are and what you know you will never become anything, and that is your reward.” – Oscar Wilde
The problem with this internal struggle is that it does not remain internal for very long. In order to continue along the path to create our material lives we must sacrifice the idea of the unlived life. The often impractical, scary and uncertain life, but the life we are supposed to live, the life that we would derive meaning from.
By doing so we are not simply trading up for practicality and ease, we are betraying ourselves. We are giving up on who we are in pursuit of the practicality. We are going back on the promise we made ourselves in childhood about the things we would do, the places we’d see and the people we would meet.
There exists a desire in all of us to create something. That may manifest in very different ways from person to person but that desire is certainly there for all of us. Some may pursue entrepreneurship and create enterprises, others may pursue creation in writing, painting or sculpting, but the desire to create lives in all of us.
“the unexamined life isn’t worth living.” – Socrates
For some this desire is much stronger than in others. It is so compelling in fact that they could not ignore it and that is why we have professional artists among us. Most of us suppress this desire though. We trade in these impulses for security. We work jobs we hate to live lives we don’t want all the while the unlived life calls on us.
When we abandon our true calling, something fundamental breaks within us. This fracture doesn’t heal with time—instead, it grows, manifesting as restlessness, resentment, and a profound sense of loss. We become spectators to our own lives rather than active participants.
This internal betrayal reverberates beyond ourselves. The energy we should direct toward our authentic path gets misdirected as judgment, criticism, and anger toward others. We see those pursuing their true calling and resent their courage. We see those similarly trapped and project our self-loathing onto them.
The political divisions, the cultural wars, the endless cycles of outrage—these are symptoms of our collective failure to honor our deeper selves. We externalize an essentially internal conflict. We look for someone to blame for our dissatisfaction rather than recognizing its true source.
Our real struggle is not with those who think differently or choose differently. Our real struggle is with the voice inside that knows we’ve compromised too much, surrendered too easily, and abandoned what matters most.
Our fight is not with each other. It is within.
He Is Risen!
I hope everyone who celebrates had an awesome Easter weekend! Wishing you all joy and my warmest regards!
What am I reading?
Curious to see what I’m reading this week? That’s easy, I’ve attached a copy of the book’s details down below. If you’re looking at getting into reading yourself, that might not be as easy. If you want a hand, you can download our free Think Big Reading List right here
The Madness of Crowds
Douglas Murray
We don’t just do newsletters…
If you are looking to take your business’s visibility online to the next level Friing Digital is who you call. Get in touch with us here for more information
Free Beginner SEO Checklist
Want to climb Google rankings without the guesswork? Our beginner-friendly SEO checklist breaks it all down step by step. Get it here and start optimizing your website like a pro.
Wishing you all the best for the week ahead, I hope you crush all of your goals!
~ Nick
Share this article with your friends here
Want a little extra? Check us out for free on Substack here
