“Not wanting something is as good as having it.” – Naval Ravikant
“It is just as important to know what you don’t want as it is to know what you do want.” This is an idea that my dad has been repeating to me for as long as I can remember. Until a very recent conversation I had with Lindah Majola, actor on the hit Showmax Series “The Wife” and owner of Hue Cafe in Windermere, Durban, I had only ever heard my dad play with this idea.
Hearing that this was a concept that someone else had been living by for so long was such a breath of fresh air that it reminded me of just how important of a lesson that had been for me. When people ask me what I have learned from my dad, this is one of the first things that come to mind.
For Lindah, he had spent an awful lot of time learning what he didn’t like, and as a result, he was able to build a sanctuary for creatives and artists that is Hue Cafe. For Lindah, Hue was the first time he was able to fully experiment with what he did like, something only made possible by being forced to confront the things he didn’t like. By having a deep understanding of the things he wanted to move away from, you are inevitably pushed to something that you love.
Creating something that you love and can experiment with in a way that it almost becomes an extension of you is the most authentic thing a person can do. It’s a very revealing concept and can be very overwhelming, but the result is something that can’t be manufactured. It is completely unique because it speaks through you and reveals who you are more than anything else.
Sitting in a space like Hue after meeting Lindah makes for a much more intimate experience, knowing that everything around you has been meticulously chosen by the man himself. It can’t be replicated by interior designers, architects, or engineers because it is him.
When we understand what we don’t want, we establish boundaries. Each experience that doesn’t align with our values or interests isn’t a failure—it’s valuable information guiding us toward what truly matters. These “no” moments carve away the excess, revealing the shape of what we really want.
“Worry is a misuse of the imagination.” – Dan Zadra
Often, we become so fixated on discovering what we want that we view encounters with what we don’t want as disappointments or detours. We feel frustrated when a job doesn’t fulfill us, when a creative project doesn’t excite us, or when a path we’ve chosen suddenly feels wrong. These moments can make us feel lost or that we’ve wasted time.
But what if we reframed these experiences? What if knowing what you don’t want is actually a compass pointing you in a better direction?
Each time you discover something that doesn’t align with your authentic self, you’re actually gaining clarity. You’re narrowing the field of possibilities, getting closer to what will truly resonate. This isn’t failure—it’s refinement.
Lindah’s story demonstrates this beautifully. His journey through understanding what didn’t work for him led to the creation of something unique and genuine. Hue Cafe embodies his vision precisely because he recognized what he wanted to move away from in other spaces.
This process requires patience and self-compassion. It means being willing to experiment, to try things that might not work out, and to learn from those experiences rather than regret them. It means understanding that the path to authenticity isn’t always direct—sometimes it winds through territories that ultimately teach us where we don’t belong.
By embracing both what we want and what we don’t want, we create a more complete picture of who we are. We develop a stronger sense of self and make choices that align more closely with our authentic nature.
“You can do anything you want to do if you want it bad enough.” – Bill Russell
The next time you find yourself in a situation that clearly isn’t right for you, remember that this realization is valuable. It’s teaching you something essential about yourself. It’s showing you a boundary, a preference, a truth about who you are and what you need.
My dad’s wisdom resonates because it acknowledges a fundamental truth: sometimes knowing what you don’t want is the clearest path to discovering what you do. And as Lindah’s story shows, when you finally find what you do want—when you create something that truly represents you—the result is authentic, unique, and impossible to replicate.
Because ultimately, the most genuine creations come from understanding both sides of the coin—what draws us forward and what we choose to leave behind.
What am I reading?
Curious to see what I’m reading this week? That’s easy, I’ve attached a copy of the book’s details down below. If you’re looking at getting into reading yourself, that might not be as easy. If you want a hand, you can download our free Think Big Reading List right here
The Fall
Albert Camus
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Wishing you all the best for the week ahead, I hope you crush all of your goals!
~ Nick
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